Abuse in a relationship whether physical, emotional or verbal should never be accepted. No woman should accept this behavior as the norm. It is not only toxic and damaging to her psyche, but it introduces fear into a relationship that once was filled with love, trust and respect resulting in an experience that can never be forgotten.
Some women remain in abusive relationships because they believe the man can change. They give so many excuses to ease the burden in their minds: “he wasn’t that way from the beginning” “he’s just going through a phase” “he’s acting out because he’s hurting…” bullshit! He’s hurting you intentionally because he knows you’ll take it and still have your arms wide open when he comes groveling (if ever). An abuser will tests your limits by pushing you to a breaking point. They can go as far as planning their outbursts carefully and go out of their way to be offended just so they can lash out at you. He wants you to feel useless.
He waits for you to trip up and tries to dominate you every time; yet you keep cowering in fear hoping that he’ll someday come to the realization that he’s hurting you and change his ways.
Well, tough shit! This relationship is unhealthy. Love would and should never make you feel afraid and insecure about the reaction or actions of your mate. If you lack confidence to speak up, defend yourself, or walk out of an abusive relationship then you’ve got your mind warped.
No woman should put up with abuse no matter the reason. The fear of a loved one is difficult if not impossible to overcome. The amount of negativity and anxiety in such a relationship is demeaning. Why on earth would you want to be with someone who hurts you every chance he gets just for the fun of it?
With so many men out there, you can find love again. So, why tie yourself to a man that makes your life a living hell? Someone out there can show you love, give you love, make you feel whole. You need to pack your shit up and get the hell out the door. A man who can’t control his words, can’t control his fist. What happens if he ends up maiming or killing you or your children during one of his outbursts? How do you live with yourself (oh, wait, you may even be dead!)?
Shake off the negative comments and beliefs that you can’t make it without him or find love without him. You can! Just get out of there. You need to realize that a good man will not beat up his woman, insult her unnecessary, make her feel insignificant, cheat on her intentionally, mess up her mind, diminish her self-worth, or belittle her every chance he gets. He will stand by her, own up to his mistakes, change his behavior when its damaging to his relationship… he will show love and respect every single day.
Don’t get soured on life! You are so much more than you believe. You deserve the best. Never accept abuse!