If you’ve been lucky enough to find someone that’s a right fit for you, why screw it up by getting married? Time and time again we see perfectly good relationships succumb to the pressures of marriage and just when you expect it to get better…boom!!! separation and then divorce.
The reality of most relationships is that things may work prior to marriage or when you’re living apart. However, when you’re living under close quarters, you may lose your identity in the drive to become one with your partner – leading to so many problems.
Four things that are known to ruin perfectly good marriages are:
MONEY!!! Do you maintain individual accounts or (in the spirit of oneness) operate a joint account where one person eventually gets screwed? Money has and always will be an issue between couples, especially when one earns a bit more than the other, or one spends excessively without due consideration to their partner.
YOUR FAMILY’S INPUT!!! Where is it written that your parents, friends or relatives should have a say or strong influence on how things are done or run in your home? When you take your family’s side over that of your spouse, you’re setting yourself up for failure.
UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS!!! Some people expect their spouse to make them happy, and when that person (who’s already feeling shitty) is unable to meet that expectation, they become upset. Tying your happiness to someone is just wrong. It is not healthy to need somebody too much or to base your happiness solely on them. Remember as much as two people come together to become one, they retain traits that make them uniquely individual.
CHILDREN!!! Let’s be real, kids are expensive – like it’s really expensive to raise a family. Rising medical care, education and general expenses puts an extra strain on the financial resources of both parents. Also, is it compulsory for every couple to have children? Like really, orphanages are operating at full capacity to cater to orphaned and abandoned children on a daily basis and yet, others have made it their goal to ‘go forth and populate the earth.’
On the flip side, many couples unable to have kids, subject themselves to invasive procedures and public scrutiny in the name of child bearing, and it’s so unfair to kids out there looking and searching for homes of their own. Also,
The truth is that marriage isn’t for everyone. Most people would go on to enjoy fulfilled lives without the assumed advantages of marriage; while others would get married and suffer through heartaches and unnecessary pain in the name of maintaining an image and keeping up with society’s demands.
Whatever side of the coin you chose, remember that marriage can only get better if both parties make it their daily responsibility to live in unity while overcoming all obstacles.