Being SingleNot all ‘single’ women are depressed, lonely, attention starved, and desperate for love and affection. Most are fun-loving, thrill-seeking and happy people who don’t give a hoot about your opinion. It is therefore surprising to be labelled inappropriately by “desperately-depressed” individuals who wouldn’t recognize love if it bit them in the ar*e; people who continually find fault in another’s enjoyment of the single life.

The dream of ‘most’ women is not the picket fences, houses and babies. The dream is to be independent enough to take care of her own shit. That maternal instinct, though not completely obsolete, does not overrule her desire to be successful in life.

In the past, women were underpaid, unappreciated and undervalued, but there has been a huge shift in the paradigm, as women are now reclaiming their rightful place in society and in their homes. Women have broken barriers career wise across every industry from the military, to sciences, technology, business and governance, but it doesn’t matter what she does, or how much she’s accomplished, she’ll still get judged. She will get judged for being educated; focusing on a career, and making a living rather than being a homebody. Judged for being independent, even when she’s got no one to depend on. She will be judged for not finding a mate and getting older. She’ll get judged period!

Well, there’s only so much one can put up with, before mentally bashing in the head of the next hypocritical commenter going on about how she’s messing up her life. As if that’s not bad enough, she’ll also have to put up with:

False Labelling

We live in a society that is governed by outdated norms and beliefs that prevents people from enjoying their lives. So, what if you’re still single at age 40? So, what if you’re yet to have children? Does that make you less of a human? Does it mean you’re wired differently? No! It simply means that life happens. It happens to one and all, and in most cases, there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it. We all don’t follow the same script. Yet, it doesn’t stop people from labelling you inappropriately.

Stigma

People feel you’re unable to find a mate and start to meddle in your affairs, making you feel inadequate at every opportunity they get. Foisting you off on ‘so-called ideal mates’ they feel would be perfect for you, inviting you to programs for singles… and a host of other events. Though some have the best intentions, it really gets annoying after a while.

Some even go as far as to judge the divorced and separated for not putting more effort into preventing the breakdown of their relationships… so I ask you, is it okay for people to remain in abusive relationships for the sake of keeping up appearances? Should they endure emotional torture, rejection, humiliation, neglect and abuse until they develop suicidal tendencies? Well, I say they shouldn’t.

The Truth

It is okay to take a breather to reassess your relationship. It is okay to call it quits when all else fails. It is okay to be single without a care in the world irrespective of your age. It is okay to adopt a child/children/pets or even a robot if you can properly take care of them (and yourself). It is okay to be yourself, without pretense and unnecessary expectations. You don’t have to fit society’s mold… you only have to be yourself.

You don’t have to put up with people’s bullshit opinions of how your life ought to be. They don’t know you; they’ve never lived a day in your boots; they never went through the experiences you did; they’ve got no right whatsoever to sum you up and attach false labels. And if they do, you’ve got no business reading into their narrative.

So, here’s a shout out to the divorced, separated, many times heartbroken, and eternally single sisters out there. There’s so much more to life than being pigeon-holed. I don’t know how to be more succinct, but it’s okay to be YOU! 

 

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